Merry Christmas to Me!

There is at least one person in my audience who will not believe that I am typing this entry on a brandy-new laptop computer! My one and only Black Friday purchase is turning out to be a BIG winner. Who would've guessed that advanced technology was so... advanced?

I've relegated the seven-year-old, slow as snail laptop to Bob. He's happy to use it as entertainment during commercial breaks in his television programs. I'm personally thrilled that I can surf the interweb with lightening speed, AND stream videos or music simultaneously.

I know! How remarkable is that? Before we know it they'll be making telephones that will fit in our pockets.

I'm thinking about putting the abacus out with next Friday's garbage.

XO
Jodi

Regarding the New TSA Screening Procedures

I don't really have a problem with the new scatter-back body imaging machines at airports. But then, I don't fly all that frequently and I am somewhat opposed to being blown to bits when I do*. While I'm less than thrilled to have some random TSA employee checking out my overweight, middle-aged naked body, I'm fairly certain the TSA agent is no more pleased with seeing my nakedness than I am every morning. Who wants to look at that?

So, what happens if I opt out of the naked body scanner do-dad? It seems we've learned recently that opting out of the scan could result in a fairly invasive pat-down, but before we all get crazy about this "invasion", we should maybe ask for a little clarification on the pat-down protocol.

What if the potential airline passenger were allowed to select the TSA employee of their choice for the pat-down screening? As an long-ago married woman, if I find myself in line for the naked body scanner and spy a hunky, delightful example of manhood in the TSA agent lineup, I may choose to refuse the scan, just for a momentary thrill.

I think if the choice of potential pat-down agents were made available to all passengers, the need for and cost of those machines could be cut dramatically!

Saving your tax dollars with common sense, and the occasional thrill of a pat-down.

XO

Jodi

* No, I do not believe that either security measure actually makes us safer to fly the friendly skies. Nothing short of the abolition of hatred could accomplish that task.

An Open Letter to Standard Time

Dear Standard Time:

I hate you! I hate the eyeball trauma you cause me on both my morning AND evening commutes as the lazy sun-orb parks its precious self just atop the horizon. And I hate that the sun-orb sees fit to douse my world with mentally-beneficial vitamin D only while I'm forced to be inside a vehicle or office building. And I hate that I have barely 30 minutes of daylight remaining once I arrive home. And my dog hates you, too!

Additionally I hate that you and the calendar always conspire to incite my too-often unconcerned customers into suddenly deciding - based solely on your combined influences, as far as I can tell - that the work they've put off all year long is finally Important And Must Be Completed Immediately.


I hate you Standard Time, because your timing is flat-out shitty. For some folks your arrival announces upcoming holidays and joyous family times, but for me you announce only darkness and hours upon hours of overtime work.

You stress me out, Standard Time! And I hate you.

Yours Truly
Jodi